Couples Counselling
When you still care about each other, but can't seem to find your way back to each other.
Most couples don't come to counselling because of one argument.
Usually, something has been happening for a while.
You might keep having the same disagreement without ever really resolving it. One of you may want to talk while the other shuts down or needs space. Small things can suddenly become huge, resentment can build, affection can disappear, or you may have reached the point where you're questioning whether the relationship can continue.
Sometimes there has been an affair or another loss of trust.
Sometimes nothing dramatic has happened at all — you've simply become disconnected.
Couples counselling offers somewhere to slow that pattern down and begin understanding what is happening between you.
What might bring you to couples counselling?
I work with couples experiencing:
Repeated arguments and conflict
Communication difficulties
Emotional distance or feeling more like housemates than partners
One partner withdrawing while the other tries harder to connect
Affairs, betrayal or a loss of trust
Resentment that has built over time
Differences around affection, intimacy or sex
Parenting and family pressures
Major life changes
ADHD, autism or different communication and emotional needs within the relationship
Uncertainty about whether to stay together
Separation and wanting to communicate more constructively
You don't need to wait until your relationship is at breaking point to come to couples counselling.
It's not about deciding who is right
One of the biggest worries people have about couples counselling is that the therapist will take sides.
That isn't my role.
I'm interested in understanding the pattern between you.
Often couples become caught in cycles where each person's response makes complete sense individually, but unintentionally triggers the other.
One person might pursue a conversation because they desperately need reassurance or connection. The other may feel criticised, overwhelmed or unable to get anything right and withdraw.
The withdrawal then feels like rejection.
So the first person pushes harder.
And around you go.
Over time, the argument can start to become the relationship.
Therapy gives us an opportunity to slow this down and understand what each of you is experiencing underneath the anger, defensiveness, silence or frustration.
When trust has been broken
An affair, betrayal or significant breach of trust can leave both partners unsure what happens next.
There can be anger, grief, guilt, constant questioning, a need for reassurance and an equally strong wish to escape talking about it.
Couples counselling doesn't begin with an assumption that you should stay together — or that you should separate.
Instead, we can create enough space to understand what has happened, what each of you needs and whether the relationship can be rebuilt.
Neurodivergence relationships
I have a particular interest in relationships where one or both partners are ADHD, autistic or otherwise neurodivergent — including couples where this is only beginning to be recognised.
Differences in communication, emotional processing, sensory needs, attention, organisation or the need for space and connection can easily be interpreted as:
“You don't care.”
“You never listen.”
“I'm always the one trying.”
“Nothing I do is good enough.”
Understanding neurodivergence doesn't mean excusing behaviour that hurts the other person.
But it can help couples move away from blame and begin understanding what is actually happening between them.
What happens in couples counselling?
Our first sessions are about understanding your relationship: what has brought you to counselling, what each of you is experiencing and the patterns you seem to become caught in.
From there, we'll work together to slow those patterns down, communicate more clearly and understand what sits underneath your reactions to one another.
My approach is warm, practical and collaborative.
I won't sit silently while the two of you argue for 50 minutes, and I won't decide which of you is the problem.
My role is to help you understand the relationship you're creating together and find different ways of responding to one another..
Sessions & fees
Couples counselling — £75
Sessions last 50 minutes and are available:
Face-to-face near Stratford-upon-Avon
Online
Daytime and selected evening appointments
Taking the
first step
It is completely normal for one partner to be more enthusiastic about counselling than the other.
You don't both need to be convinced that therapy will work before you come.
You simply need to be willing to have a conversation about what is happening.
If you'd like to explore whether couples counselling might be helpful, get in touch and tell me a little about what has brought you here. We can arrange an initial conversation and take it from there.
Get in touch